Day Five: Progression in CrisisA few years ago, as my relationship was just beginning to bloom, the unthinkable happened. My boyfriends best friend passed away unexpectedly. We were as new to each other as we were young. In a situation like ours it was very hard for me to know what to do, and what to say. More so than in the usual way after these sort of events transpire. I felt as if I couldn’t do anything to make it better for him. In some ways I feel like it was that period of our relationship that bonded us the most. It was like the ultimate communication exercise. I had to, I mean really had to be willing to listen to what he needed. While at the same time he had to be willing to express to me what that was. On the alternate end of the spectrum this was also a very challenging period for me personally. I put so much pressure on myself. I thought that if I could make him happy in the midst of all the pain he was experiencing then that was how I would be able to make myself happy. I just kept seeing all of this heartbreak around me and I sort of took it all upon myself to fix. Very exhausting and very unrealistic I might add. Still, there are certain times when all of this rises to the surface again. When he has nightmares, all I can do is be there and hold him. It kills me to know that as much as I want to, I can’t do a damn thing. This whole experience has taught me and continues to teach me that just because I can’t do anything physically I can help build someone mentally, though he still has nightmares they are fewer and farther between. Putting all of that pressure on myself wasn't helping me and in reality it wasn't helping him. Once I let go of my need to control his grief we were both better for it. -Anonymous
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Hunter FergusonHolding her Associates of Arts in Political Science, Implementing Beneficial Community Project, and having Led a Student Collaboration team at her college of attendance- Hunter chooses to blog about the world around her as well as her personal experiences in hopes of creating a Powerful group of like-minded people. Archives
July 2019
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